


He Said, She Said

by slstmaraudersjple



Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, Misunderstandings, carenzo BrOTP, caroline ALMOST catches him, caroline is mostly clueless, caroline loves fries, enzo is a good BFF, klaus has hybrids spy on caroline, klaus is a sneaky bastard, klaus spies on caroline, they have ONE JOB, why is good help so hard to find these days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24685519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slstmaraudersjple/pseuds/slstmaraudersjple
Summary: When Klaus receives conflicting reports from his minions in regards to Caroline and one Lorenzo St. John, he decides to investigate for himself. Or, a humorous tale of miscommunication and fries.***NOMINATED for KC Awards 2020: Best comedy one-shot***
Relationships: Caroline Forbes & Lorenzo "Enzo" St. John, Caroline Forbes/Klaus Mikaelson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 168
Collections: However Long It Takes





	He Said, She Said

**Author's Note:**

> ***This was first posted to FFN under the same username.***

“They’re just friends,” Hybrid 1 reported. “When they go out, he watches her flirt with other guys.”

“They’re dating,” Hybrid 2 insisted, “He calls her _Gorgeous_ , and he always holds the door for her and carries her stuff, and he never lets her pay!”

“ _And_ he scares off most guys who try to flirt with her,” Hybrid 3 agreed with Hybrid 2. “He only lets them get close when he already knows she’s going to turn them down.”

As he listened to his hybrids argue with one another over whether or not Caroline and Enzo were _together_ , Klaus dropped his head into his hand, barely stifling a groan.

_Why were his minions so utterly incompetent?_

They had one job – protect Caroline Forbes with their lives, and report back to him with daily occurrences in her life, including any and all supernatural creatures she happened to come across.

Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John was one of them. His reports stated that the vampire had been held by the Augustine Society for decades until he escaped. Somehow, he met Caroline and now spent most of his time with the baby vampire.

This _Enzo_ could prove to be a complication.

For a moment, he considered chartering a private flight out to New York to rip out the Augustine vampire’s heart. Surely Caroline would forgive him… eventually?

* * *

If asked, Klaus would swear that he had no idea how he ended up in New York, tucked away in a booth in a dark corner in a bar that his hybrids reported Caroline liked to go to. One of his witch contacts had met him nearby, giving him a concealment charm that would make him unnoticeable to others unless he made himself known first.

Shortly after happy hour started, his favorite baby vampire wandered in with her… companion following right behind her. They sat themselves at the bar, and the bartender greeted them cheerfully, recognition on her features as she began mixing drinks for them. A couple minutes later, one of the servers appeared with a generous platter of fries that he placed in front of the blonde.

Caroline squealed happily, thanking the server as she dug into the appetizer.

“They’re just fries, Goldilocks,” Enzo commented as he swiped one.

“Enzo,” Caroline stated, waving a fry in his face, “these fries have been cooked in duck fat and seasoned with truffle salt. It’s literally _perfection_.” She then popped the fry into her mouth, moaning blissfully as she chewed.

The vampire scowled, unimpressed, even as he continued to munch on the fries. “They’re an appetizer; they shouldn’t cost as much as an entree.”

She rolled her eyes, swatting his hand away as she responded, “They’re not _that_ expensive. And they’re half off during happy hour – _get your own!_ ”

They continued to bicker good-naturedly before placing their order for a couple more appetizers and entrees.

Klaus ordered a refill of his bourbon, and after a brief moment of contemplation, ordered the fries that Caroline had raved over.

They were… surprisingly delicious. Not that he should have been surprised – his baby vampire always did have good taste, even if one of her favorite foods happened to be made of potatoes, baked or fried, and seasoned.

“Aren’t they good?” A cheerful voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he blinked, startled, as he looked up and met familiar ocean blue eyes. When he looked at her, she grinned sheepishly as she confessed, “Sorry, I can be a little nosy. But those fries are seriously the best thing they have here, and they’re my favorite.”

An amused British voice called out, “Are you seriously thinking of stealing a stranger’s fries, Gorgeous?” And Klaus glanced over the baby vampire’s shoulder to see Enzo standing up, as if about to come over.

She blushed, her head turning towards her friend and her eyes widening as she stammered a denial, and said, “No! I was passing by and saw—” she cut herself off and turned back to Klaus, who was watching with ill-concealed amusement as he reassured her, “It’s quite alright, sweetheart. You’re absolutely correct that these fries are delectable. I can see why they’re your favorite.”

Caroline beamed at him, not recognizing him through the charm. “Sorry for interrupting your um... meal. Have a good evening!”

And then she turned around, heading back towards the bar.

* * *

He had originally planned to stay until Caroline and Enzo left, and then to follow her home to ensure that she made it home safely before departing back to New Orleans.

Once they paid their tab and Caroline headed out the door, Klaus waited a couple moments until he couldn’t hear her heartbeat anymore.

He was surprised when Enzo slid into the seat opposite of his, a pleasant smile on his face as he said amiably, “You must work for the Big Bad.”

“What makes you say that?” The Original Hybrid responded, his tone deliberately casual.

The younger vampire continued smiling, not at all perturbed as he said, “Blondie’s still a baby vampire, so she didn’t think there was anything odd about a human with no aura. But I’m older, and I’m rather good at telling the difference between a human and a supernatural creature who’s been charmed to feel human.”

Klaus didn’t respond, and Enzo continued mildly, “She’s been getting pretty good at sussing out the rest of your hybrid pals. Granted, she was annoyed at first, but I think she’s made a game of it now. I suppose she should be thanking your boss for letting her practice her vampire instincts. But pass along a message to the rest of your buddies and your bossman, will ya?” Klaus stayed silent, and the other vampire took it as a sign to continue, “ _Carenzo_ isn’t a thing, and I don’t fancy the thought of losing my liver due to any miscommunications that might make their way up to the Original Hybrid.”

“I’ll… be sure to do that,” Klaus finally responded, blinking as he took a sip of his bourbon.

The younger vampire nodded. “Good. And I’d recommend you find a stronger enchantment next time – Goldilocks almost caught onto you.”

Klaus nodded in agreement as he finished the rest of his bourbon and stood up, ready to leave.

But first, he had a chef to compel a recipe out of.

* * *

When Klaus presented the recipe to Sophie and Camille and demanded they add the _“fries cooked in duck fat and seasoned with truffle salt”_ appetizer to Rousseau's menu, he was met with identical looks of disbelief.

But he charmed them into trying the recipe first before passing judgment, and they did, with healthy doses of skepticism that quickly morphed into identical expressions of delight as they murmured praise over the flavor profile.

“So you’ll do it?” He asked impatiently, his most charming smile on his face.

“I don’t see why not,” Sophie commented. “Even if it doesn’t fall under traditional New Orleans or Louisiana fare, I think it’ll be quick to become a crowd pleaser.”

“Good,” Klaus responded before he walked out the door. He’d even gone to the trouble of sourcing reliable suppliers of high quality duck fat and truffle salt, as well as high quality truffle oil, and he hadn’t planned on leaving until Sophie said yes. Meanwhile, the vendors had been more than ecstatic at accepting the contract the Mikaelsons offered him.

He knew that his baby vampire wasn’t quite ready for everything he had to offer her in New Orleans, _yet_. But until she was, he wasn’t above doing everything he could to tempt her into staying, when she finally decided to give him a chance.

_Starting with her favorite fries._

* * *

**_FIN._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually had the fries that Caroline is obsessed with and they're REALLY GOOD.


End file.
